Latinam scire non possum. Verum.

Widget

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 19:13:11 GMT

I am just a busy, busy bee. *shudder* That reminds me of Gladiator. Anyways, I found this cool meme called a VisualDNA widget. Looky!

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

...And Now, For Something Completely Different

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 18:36:03 GMT

Hopefully, you all know that I'm a Harry Potter nerd. If you don't, well, now you do. A little while ago, I was watching VeggieTales and had a burst of inspiration. I present to you a script for Lord Voldemort's very own children's show a la VeggieTales.

[The curtain rises, revealing several masked Death Eaters and a large tomato onstage. The tomato is entangled in a huge tuba and begins to play.]

Bum ♪ Bum♪ Bum ♪ Bum♪ Bum ♪ Bum♪ Bum bum bum bum ♫♫

Voldemort: If you like to talk to serpents,
If a curse can make you smile,
If you like to torment your victims
And believe black is always in style...

Have we got a show for you!

All: VoldieTales! VoldieTales! VoldieTales! VoldieTales!
VoldieTales! VoldieTales! VoldieTales! VoldieTales!

Lucius: Catastrophe! Calamity! Gotta be...

All: VoldieTales!

Bellatrix: Good we fight! In the night! Enemies take flight!

All: VoldieTales!

McNair: Against death we've won! On the run! All great fun!

All: VoldieTales!

Voldemort: There's never ever ever ever ever been a show like VoldieTales!

There's never ever ever ever ever been a show like VoldieTales!

It's tiiiime for VoldieTaaaaales!

[All but two people file off of the stage. The camera focuses in on the center of the stage where the tomato and Voldemort are standing.]

[Bob introduces them.] "Hello, everyone. I am henchman to the most evil Lord Voldemort."

[Voldemort gives Bob a death glare that could probably actually kill him.]
"It's Vol - de - more," he hisses. "The 't' is silent, you idiot."
"Is that French?"
"How should I know? Read the script."
"It is French! Your name is a French sentence."
"What the hell are you... It is not French! It's an anagram of my real name."
"What's your surname, then?"
"Riddle."
"Your name is a puzzle that forms an anagram which makes a French sentence?
That's a very convenient name."
"Will you shut up about the name?!"
"You started it."
"AAAAUGH! Avada Kedavra!"
[There is a flash of green light and Bob falls over with a thump. Voldemort looks embarrassed.]
"Hey, stage crew. I need a new henchman."
"Do you know how hard it is to find a giant talking tomato at 2 A.M.?" Lucius whines.
"Then just cut the stupid scene!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -(Pause)- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Voldemort is back, with a smile that makes all the kids in the audience under ten run away screaming.]

"Today we have a story about the values of friendship and love... WHICH MUST BE DESTROYED! Ahem..."

"Many people have expressed the opinion that Lord Voldemort cannot be very powerful if he can be defeated by a mere teenage boy. However, I think those in question will change their opinions after today's story."

[Voldemort proceeds to drag out a large, wooden box with a curtain over the top of it. He crouches behind the box, and soon little felt figurines appear over top of it.]

Harry puppet: It's a wonderful day to be here at Hogwarts school.
Hermione puppet: We love school so much...
Harry puppet: I'm so good at quidditch!
Hermione puppet: I'm so brilliant!
Ron puppet: I kinda suck...
[Dumbledore and Snape puppets moves across the box toward the kids.]
Dumbledore puppet: I'm afraid the supremely cool and evil Lord Voldemort (whose name is not French) is invading Hogwarts.
Snape puppet: Let's run for our lives!
Snape and Dumbledore puppets: Aaaaaauuugh! (Pause) Oh no! We scream like girls!
[They run off the stage.]
Harry puppet: I have to face him. It's my noble and tragic destiny.
Hermione and Ron puppets: Don't go, Harry!
[All three run off stage. A Voldemort puppet appears on stage. A second later, the Harry puppet runs on stage.]
Harry puppet: And now, we will fight in an epic battle to the dea...
Voldemort puppet: Incendio! Die, you little brat!
Harry puppet: You cheater... Heeeeelp meeee!
[Harry puppet flops over pathetically and dies. Voldemort puppet begins laughing manically.]
Voldemort puppet: Muhuhuahahaha!
[A wooden sign appears, announcing tHE eNd. Voldemort steps out from behind the box.]
“I hope you are all reassured about how great Lord Voldemort truly is...”

“And now it's time for a Hogwarts parody, the part of the show where a student comes out and sings a Hogwarts song.”

[Ginny enters, wearing black nail polish, a “PUNK ROCKR” t-shirt, and black streaks in her hair. She is dragging a guitar with her. She plugs the guitar in, and starts to play and sing.]

He was a boy,
She was a girl.
Can I make it any more obvious?
She's in Ravenclaw
He's a Griffindor
Need I say anything more?

He wanted her,
She'd never tell;
Secretly she wanted him as well
And all of her friends
Ignored him, in effect,
'Cause they had a problem with his hero complex.

He was a quidditch boy
She said 'See ya later, boy."
He wasn't good enough for her.
She had a pretty face
but her head was up in space.
She needed to come back down to earth.

Five years from now
She sits at home,
Making a potion, she's all alone.
Guess who she sees, when
The news owl arrives?
It's quidditch boy playin' the World Cup live.

She calls up her friends
They all know his name
And they've all got tickets to see the game.
She tags along
Stands in the crowd
And looks up at the man that she turned down

He was a quidditch boy
She said 'See ya later, boy."
He wasn't good enough for her.
Now he's a superstar
World's best seeker by far.
Does your pretty face see what he's worth?

Sorry, girl, but you missed out
Well tough luck, that boy's mine now.
We are more than just good friends,
And this is how the story ends.

Too bad that you couldn't see...
See the man that boy could be.
There is more than meets the eye,
I see the soul that is inside.

He's just a boy,
and I'm just a girl.
Can I make it any more obvious?
We are in love;
Haven't you heard
how we rock each other's world?

I'm with the quidditch boy
I said "See ya later, boy.
I'll be outside after the show.
I'll be at the studio
singing the song we wrote
about a girl you used to know."

[As the music fades out, Ginny tramps off stage, and Voldemort continues.]

“Now it’s time for hide-and-seek with Peter.”

[Fade in to Snape’s Potions room. Peter’s tail is peeking out from behind one of the cauldrons.]

Voldemort asks the kids, “Do you know where Peter is?”
[Children’s voices start to answer.]

“The bookcase...”
“The gargoyle...”
“The cupboard...”

“Come on, kids,” Voldemort growls. “Can’t you see where Peter is?”

“The blackboard...”
“The torches...”

“You cursed little nuisances!” shouts Voldemort. “He’s behind the freaking cauldron!”

[The room is dead silent. Voldemort clears his throat, fidgets, and looks embarrassed again. The camera zooms in on Peter.]

“Does anyone know what Peter is?” he says calmly.

[Letters appear on the screen:]

R A T

“Rat!”

“WRONG! He’s an Animagi! You lose!”

[Bellatrix steps in front of the camera.]

“I’m sorry, kids. That’s all the time we have for today...”

“How dare you interrupt Lord Voldemort!”

“You’re making the kids cry. Just shut up.”

“Don’t worry, kids. Lord Voldemort will be back next week to take over the world from his childrens’ show! Muhuhuahahaha!”

[Cut.]

Yes, that's right. He's turning all the children into little Death Eaters.

Baby!!!

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 18:08:09 GMT

I know I've been not posting for a looong time, but now that my sister is having el bambino, I am becoming obsessed with baby names. Here are my favorites so far:

For a boy: Aaron, Aidan, Aubrey, Blaise, Brian, Caelan, Edward, Elliot, Emory, Grant, Grayson, Ian, James, Lee, Noah, Remy, Russel, and William.

For a girl: Adelle, Bailey, Bianca, Cady, Catherine, Charlotte, Clara, Eleanor, Felicity, Fiona, Holly, Isabelle, Ivy, Josephine, Lana, Lily, Madison, and Maya.

I also like Amadeus, Azriel, Balthasar, and Ezekiel, but I don't think the baby would appreciate those :)

On a side note, I am also obsessed with Gray's Anatomy. I've only seen the first and part of the second seasons, but I have an opinion on every relationship thus far, and I don't really like Patrick Dempsey's character. George + Meredith forever!

Lord of the Rings vs. the Bible

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 17:22:17 GMT

This afternoon I was really bored and was struck by a sudden thought. What if people followed some other book like, say, the Lord of the Rings Series? (This was very funny to me in my mind-numbing boredom.) I took this wonderful idea one step further and came up with a list of why LotR should be used instead of the Bible.

10 Reasons Why The Lord of the Rings Should Replace the Bible... Seriously

1. They're really both about the same length.
2. If you bought your kids a LotR set, they might actually read it.
3. The Bible and LotR have about the same number of confusing characters, names, and connections to remember, but no-one is offended if you draw a LotR family tree to help you remember.
4. Both books have about the same moral messages, and about the same level of truth.
5. Frodo actually makes a very good Christ figure.
6. LoTR has a prequel to make things less confusing.
7. Elvish has it all over Latin.
8. Gollum is funnier than Judas Iscariot.
9. Unlike the evil of human nature, the Rings of Power can really be destroyed.
10. Instead of going to heaven to wear a robe and play a harp, you would sail across the sea to wear a robe and have elves teach you archery.

Ha ha ha... It's great, I know

The Root of All Evil

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 19:08:00 GMT

Today I have decided that computers are the root of all evil.

About a month ago, there was a power surge during a thunderstorm, and the computer broke. A family member who is much more skilled with computers than I feared that our hard drive might have been ruined. It had been about two months since we last backed up the hard drive, so this made everyone nervous.

We bought a new power supply on eBay and it came two weeks later. We set up the new power supply only to find out that there wasn't anything wrong with the old power supply - something else needed fixing. So the pc ended up being dismantled and ripped apart, and sat forlornly on our kitchen table for many more weeks.

Finally we all thought we might as well get rid of the old pc, since it wasn't doing anything besides staring sadly at us. So we bought a new computer with Windows XP and more features. We attached the old hard drive, and it was fine. There was much rejoicing. However, my dad created my user account, and made me decidedly angry by making himself the only administrator. This meant that I could no longer have access to all my files on the old hard drive. He says that he did this so that no one could download anything harmful to the computer, but all it means is that I can't get rid of the useless icons on my desktop, and I have to waste my time logging onto his account so I can download stuff.

To top it all off, every time someone tries to use the internet after the first few hours it's logged on, it says it has a 'Runtime Error' (I have no idea what that means) and won't open. My dad downloaded Internet Explorer 7, but now the computer gives the 'Runtime Error' message, Explorer won't open, and the computer freezes.

Grrrr...

Fun With Slogan Generators

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 01:16:42 GMT

I was bored late last night, so I found one of those slogan generator things. I entered the word 'penguin' and I got:

"Dude, You're Getting a Penguin!"
"Mama's Got the Magic of Penguin."
"I Saved A Bunch of Penguins By Switching to Geico."
"Penguin Tested, Mother Approved."
"Half the Carbs, All the Penguin."

And my favorite:
"You've Got Questions. We've Got Penguins."